Where’s Everybody Going?

That was a rhetorical question that my mom started asking some years ago after experiencing numerous deaths of friends, family members, and former pastors. Mom even considered titling her next book, “Where’s Everybody Going?” Now that it has been a little over three years since Mom has passed away, I have recently been asking myself the same question.

This year, I found out that two of my mentors passed away, both of whom I met in college over ten years ago. Dr. Maurice Martinez, a distinguished professor, artist, author, and filmmaker, introduced me to the poetry slam scene by inviting me to perform in March 2012 in UNCW’s annual spring poetry slam. Dr. Martinez was a fellow New Orleanian, a witty man, and a masterful storyteller. He gave me a thesaurus for my 2014 college graduation, which I still have today.

Earlier this year, while I was writing an article for another newspaper about my first poetry slam performance* I Googled Dr. Martinez’s name to acquire some details about his current position with UNCW when I saw news article headlines announcing his passing. Although I, unfortunately, had not been in contact with him since graduation, I was saddened to know that he passed away in September 2022.

Dr. Martinez helped me to discover a gift in my voice that I did not know existed, a confidence unknown to me that when I accepted other future bolder opportunities in college, it led to my becoming a first-time pageant queen, a founder and leader of UNCW’s first all-female spoken word organization, and a runway model in my first fashion show. I am forever grateful for Dr. Martinez, and I pray that he is at rest and is eternally free.

Another mentor whom I lost earlier this year is Ms. Verna-Bash Flowers. I interned for her law office in 2011 in Gastonia, NC, during the summer of my sophomore year at UNCW. Mom connected Ms. Verna and me, although they, ironically, never met each other in their lifetimes. At the time, I was pursuing a career in law upon graduation, and Ms. Verna–who owned a private practice specializing in bankruptcy law, immigration and naturalization, wills, and more—was the first lawyer with whom I interned. In that three-month internship, I noticed how polished, intelligent, and respected Ms. Verna was among her clients and with other business partners. She had great faith, backbone, and a deep commitment to her clients and to law.

I remember that when I returned to work for Ms. Verna in spring 2015, during my first year of law school, I struggled to keep pace with the duties assigned to me, which primarily included researching prior cases to aide in her preparation for her current caseload. This practice of case reading is what I was simultaneously learning in law school. During this time working with Ms. Verna, she would often as me, “Do you still want to be a lawyer?” to which I would often emphatically nod and say “yes.” However, less than one year later, I decided—after much pondering and painful acceptance of my lack of passion, vision, and momentum for law following my first year—to discontinue law school.

The last time that I saw Ms. Verna was in 2022, months after Mom passed away. Ms. Verna gave me consoling words, sharing the heartache of having lost both of her parents before I lost my mom. After that final in-person meeting, Ms. Verna and I stayed connected via text and through her daughter, Michelle, “Meesh The Great” Flowers, who became a friend to my mom and a big sister to me. Ms. Verna remained a primary reference to me whenever I shifted professions, and always remained a supporter of me. I remember in one of our last conversations, she informed me that she was retiring from her law practice and was moving back to New Jersey with her husband. I congratulated her and shared life updates. Her last message to me was a chain message sent around the 2023 holiday season.

When I learned the news of Ms. Verna’s passing this past March, I was devastated. Ms. Verna was one of my first mentors, both in college and professionally, and was among the most impactful of mentors. I am forever grateful for my mom connecting us and for Ms. Verna giving me my first experience of the legal profession. I smile now thinking that she and Mom have finally met. Thank you and rest well, Ms. Verna.

*Note: Here’s the link to my article: https://www.starofzion.org/stories/reflection-on-my-first-poetry-slam,52297?

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Death of a Childhood Icon

A few days ago, I learned about the death of a childhood icon, Eric Paulsen, longtime news anchor for WWL-TV in New Orleans, my childhood hometown. I was online in my bed past midnight searching for information on other former WWL-TV anchors when I saw a tribute video from WWL-TV for Eric, who passed away last month. As I began watching his tribute video, I started weeping profusely, feeling that another treasure from my childhood was gone.

I remember watching Eric Paulsen all throughout my grade school years in New Orleans, alongside Sally-Ann Roberts and Angela Hill. Hours later, following my discovery of Eric’s passing, as I was preparing to leave for work, I watched a few more tribute videos from current and former WWL-TV news anchors and music artists—including Juvenile—who were friends with Eric Paulsen. Again, I heard Mom’s question, “Where’s everybody going?”

I know that the Bible says that “it is appointed once for all men to die and after that the judgement,” but death still stings when you are remaining and so many people that you know and love are gone. On the heels of 2025, as I think about the twentieth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina—August 29, 2025—I remember the painful losses endured after the storm: the loss of my city as my home, the loss of family members, precious possessions, community, and the ending of my childhood.

Eric Paulsen anchored WWL-TV through it all. I thank Eric for faithfully serving the city of New Orleans with his on-air presence and—as I have been discovering through various media interviews of his mourning colleagues and artist friends—his notable ardent support of New Orleans musicians, food, culture, and history.

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Looking Ahead

2024 has not been an easy year. Maybe no subsequent year is meant to be easy, but I thank God for the mentors and icons that I have known throughout my life who have contributed so greatly to my life, be it culturally, professionally, intellectually, or emotionally. Excerpts from my 2012 written poem, “A Letter to the Earth” are circulating through me as I conclude this post:

To the world, though we go.

All God’s children left the show,

Called the world, the earth of games.

People dying every day. Some are known.

Some die alone. Some living on bread alone.

Some have wealth, while others don’t . . .

So I write with faith and tears,

Wishing all those lost will make it here.

Just in time before that trumpet sounds.

The lovely Jesus is coming back in a Warrior’s gown!